Being a Carer: Diane's Story

Invisible Army is an organisation dedicated to shining a light on unpaid carers. They want to make the challenges and joys carers cope with every day visible.

We are supporting their mission by sharing some of their stories. In the hope that it connects our carers’, knowing they are not alone.

This is Diane’s story.

Diane lived in Georgia, one of the most populated states in America. With many big cities and a geographical range from the mountains to the beaches, there is much more to Georgia than its famous peaches.

Diane’s parents lived in Bristol, roughly 6668 miles from Georgia, and though similarly having much to offer, Bristol and the state of Georgia hold many differences. Despite the differences, Diane and her family regularly visited one another and often communicated through phone calls.

During one of Diane’s visits to her parents’ home, she noticed that both her mother and father were starting to become more frail and their mobility was deteriorating. Boris, Diane’s father, during this visit got up on the chair to change a lightbulb and slipped off the chair.

Luckily, he was not injured but very shaken by what could have happened. There had been many people over that day who he could have asked to help him change the lightbulb, but he impulsively struggled onto the chair. Diane knew her parents were finding it difficult to admit that they were struggling with certain things but were too proud to ask for help.

Diane decided to rent her home in Georgia and move to her parents home. She stated: “It was easier for me to move in than for other family members.” When questioned what she meant by ‘easier’, Diane responded “well, logistically as I don’t have any children.” Emotionally, she went on to explain that she did not feel ready to leave her life in the USA, but things snowballed and her parents needed her.

Boris and Barbara live in a large house, so fortunately, there was a room available for Diane to use. Diane’s parents live in a friendly community and Diane is regularly asked “how’s your mum and dad?” She understands the value of living in a supportive and connected community.

Diane works full-time as admin support within social care, cares for her parents full time and runs her own business selling handmade candles. Though her employer is understanding and she loves her parents and her business, it can sometimes feel quite overwhelming.

Diane shares that her biggest challenge is organising, attending and keeping on top of all her parent’s hospital appointments. These appointments are increasing due to her parents’ ages and her mum being recently diagnosed with cancer. However, Diane is devoted to ensuring her parents have all they need and are safe and well.

While talking to Diane and hearing all about her life and business, she suddenly stopped and expressed “for once, it’s not about mum and dad – it’s about me!”